save a life.

i need to save my life. nuff' said.

february horoscope

Capricorn
Communication is a challenge this month - to one person you're either saying too much or too little and can't seem to get it right. Remind yourself that this is just one opinion and not necessarily the ultimate truth.

this month's memo: Think before you speak.

I was just telling myself the other day that i have an amazing ability to keep secrets.
apparently at the gathering, i was pinching myself hard, pondered but decided not to spill any beans, though it might be passe. i suppose it's the respect that i have for that person who told me and the involved parties. as for the 'truth' he told me, it could be an opinion or perception, and not necessarily the ultimate truth, for all i know.

mantra of the year: appreciate what you have

so far, february's been good.

started an apparel merchandising course at taFtc. 
gained a whole new insight into the garment industry, not forgetting the thousand and one seams and stitches that i have to grapple with and learn how to identify.
interesting trainer, i reckon, with his ridiculous dose of animated humour, ensures i do not doze off in class! although i still scratch my head and frown with all those knits and woven fabrics, and the unit conversions, i thought at least that's time well spent, provided those stuff goes into my head, that is. :)



snapshot of my workstation!


















workwise - despite the same gruelling workload, i have made it a point to leave not later than 9pm at work! on alternate weekdays, my course saves me as well!
my friend was telling me that's such an 'ingenious' way to stay on a job: to find a course near your workplace...oh well, it's all a coincidence.   

while life has gotten a lil' busy this month, January's been a month which flew too fast for me to catch. 

visited a quaint and laidback cafe-cum-bar-beauty emporium (they stocks some very quirky merchandise too!)

Menu Insert: Barracks @ House






















and this is one of the menu inserts which struck me pretty much.
speaks about familial ties, relationships, and basically the essence of staying real in this increasingly complicated world. or i suppose so. the place's so laidback that i really wish i have an afternoon to laze and make some dreams. how i wish i could visit the place again.
missus! do you hear me? let's go visit the barracks someday! :)

if there's anything that strucks me real hard last month, its my ex-colleague, Joey. i know i have not done much to help you in this journey. but from the bottom of my heart, i will continue to pray for you wherever i can. you are one of the bravest people i know, and im sure this is only a phase for you to overcome. your positivity & optimism is amazing, that which puts me to shame. but im also quick to realise that's you! you never fail to inspire, influence and imparts your strength and wisdom. i also know you are serious when you say after you got well, you want to learn baking and cooking. i did not doubt that for a second at all.

you know all of us are with you. please get well soon. :)

my ex-MS peeps: Joey| me| Shu Han| Xiao Lin| Apple| Alice

sometimes, we thought our problems are huge boulders that weigh on us. we complain and we grumble, and we thought we are at the pit of the well, but when you experience something as close as death, what seems unformidable pales in comparison.

im still learning to appreciate whatever i have got. we humans are like that, we envy more than we appreciate. as we find happiness in our own ways, do not lose sight of the little things along the way. because what we really have, it's all in the mind.

her world horoscope

i am not one to mince on horoscope, nor take them seriously. but this is by far the most accurate zodiac snippets that I have ever come across. and I mean insanely, true to every word.

CAPRICORN - Dec 22 to Jan 19
Your year starts on quite an intense note, but this is welcome relief for someone who takes life as seriously as you. Set some realistic goals and try to maintain a healthy work-life balance. You often work too hard, but you're intent on getting a maximum dose of fun this month.

This month's memo: Take charge at home.
Birthday wish: To have yet another successful year at work.

tell me how not to ignore this.

2012 resolutions!

i have always adore the new year's day.


and now i am making my 2012 resolutions with much determination, optimism & motivation!
1. earn & save a certain amount by end-2012.
2. achieve work-life balance & leave work on time!
3. be on time for work & apptments! (i am not even referring to being early!)
4. stop taking cabs unnecessarily! (and maybe sell off my comfort shares! :\ )
5. make time for my family & friends! esp my best friend!
6. save enough monies to bring my family for a small getaway.
7. curse lesser! & be kind with words!
8. keep procrastination away!
9. conceptualise my lil' entrepreneur aspirations.
10. be fun, fearless & free!


while 2011 have its ups & downs, i am glad that it end off with on a nice heartwarming note.
i met some really nice colleagues, although we might have parted, but i believe our paths will cross again.


to hanna quek, if you are reading this, i know i can never say enough of this but really, its a huge blessing to have known you. although its a short 3 months, i feel like we have met for the longest time.
you make me see my self-worth, when i feel at the bottom of the pit.
you helped restore my sanity, without me realising it.
you make my day by surprising me w lil' stuff, when i least expect it.
you make me curse & swear lesser (cos you are too sweet & demure to hear my expletives!).
sometimes you act stupid to make me laugh, but deep down you are a young intelligent lady with a mind of your own and a genuine heart so as to speak.
i know i will miss your whimsicalities when you lay your head on the table & pretend to sleep.
i know i will miss your notes & post-its with your lovely (not childish) handwritings,
cos its always a pleasant surprise, when i return to my desk, knowing you are still there.
you are one of my admired people i look up to! you have my sincerest heart!



as i type this, i found myself fighting back the tears cos i am missing you very much now.
till we meet again, take lots of care! you are meant to run wild, and fly high ~ xoxo

when the going gets tough, we all need a stronghold to lean on.

how often is it that what you wish for, come true?

super hooked with coldplay's paradise, my sentiments for the month, totally.



When she was just a girl

She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
and dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
and the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly
and dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
She'd dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh
lalalalalalalalalalala


And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"

kids are the colours of the nation!

Cant help but to share my favourite boy of the moment!

and he never fails to impress me with his drawings always!


kids are such bundles of joy that you will forgive them however mischeivous they get!

when happiness last.

It's been a juggle of struggles ever since May this year.

I really hate to complain but fortunately whining does help to relieve all the mounting stress & I am slowly not letting them engulf me even though they really manage to kill me at the end of every single day. When the very same thoughts surface every day, I knew I wasnt going to be happy. After all, who is happy to work obscenely long hours till 11pm, lunch at your work desk, not to mention working into the weekends, denting my social life and facing a damn-stiff neck and shoulders? Is that the price to pay in the name of experience?

Today, I saw the rainforest tree shed its leaves.
It was such a beautiful sight.
I smiled to myself and thought how joy could be so simple.
That which I am missing out every day.

Inspiring to Inspire.

I count myself very fortunate to work with some young minds & many young-at-hearts.
Inspiration never stops and it's renewed every saturday.
It's this pillar of strength that never cease to inspire me,
and Wayne is so good at it.
To term it teachings would sound like preachings.
Because I am not fond of big unrealistic dreams,
it makes more sense for sensible practical goals.

Felt the need to record and share some good stuff that I got from him:

i) "Every game in life has its own definition of what it means to win. There is always a scoreboard. If a team is to accomplish its goals, it has to know where it stands. Our point system is just a tool to help teams look at themselves in light of progress. Why is that important? Cos teams that succeed make adjustments to continually improve themselves and their situations. As we begin, planning is very important and the scores mean nothing. But as the game goes on, planning means less and less, and scoreboard becomes more and more significant. Cos the game is constantly changing. Planning tells what you want to happen. But the scoreboard tells you what is happening. Scoreboard is essential to understanding, evaluating, deciding, adjusting and winning."

ii) "A team fails to reach its potential when it fails to pay the price. The price must be paid by everyone - else everyone will pay the price by losing. The price must be paid all the time - there is no substitute for work, it's the price of success. The price increases if the team wants to keep winning. The price never decreases - nobody sets out with the purpose of losing. Most people who quit dont give up at the bottom of the mountain, they stop halfway up it."

iii) "When you do well, you think it's worth it. When you sacrifice too much and you finally do well, it feels really good. In other words, when you're winning, nothing hurts. Each team is a winner during evaluation week, just bigger or smaller winner."

Working with young minds kept me very grounded.
The constant relating of teamwork here brings me reminders of my previous work and seemingly how I could have done it better.

What better good to spend a saturday afternoon being inspired to inspire young minds?

favourite quote of the moment:

teamwork makes dreams work!

Sanity Restored!

2 years of wrecked nerves, being a social misfit.
It's OVER!

It's miraculous. how I could survive the past 2 years.
Like my buddy says, ''we were so strong!''

I can't help but to admit that parts of me had changed,
in the most unfortunate of ways.
I feel like I was thrown into some circumstances,
that which subconsciously altered my beliefs once held important to me.
Like some things were lost before you knew it.
To find them back, is harder than I thought.

To my utter dismay, my greatest loss is my patience.
Maybe some of you would have realised this.
Now I am no longer nice and easy-going, rather
I get easily irritated at the slightest & I figured
I can no longer smile at you for the same silly mistakes done over & over again.
How tragic, I thought.

The idea of losing temper at anyone was never in me 2 years ago.
I remembered I blew my top at someone in poly
(and we were no longer friends now) but I was never that way.
2 years down the road, it became so easy to lose it.
There is actually someone who can stretch my threshold of tolerance, & I eventually snapped.
Me think you are really something, to have taken a hard step on my toes.
Frustration with work was also multi-faceted, resulting in much emotional turmoil. Those were the days, totally insane.
Now that work is no longer on my mind, I decided to make good with my emotions. Think, think, think happy thoughts.

If given the chance, I truly prefer to work alone.
Call me anti-social, but never had I felt so strongly until I was in that job.
Or to put matters right, the RIGHT kind of people really matters. There is just some minority in this world who are such a pain to work with and managed to irritate the ass out of me.
I seriously can't figure out how in the world can anyone not able to work with me. Perhaps I need to do some soul-searching there?

The part about self-realization, a quality that I am still learning every other day. It's saddening to know of someone who thought she knows the world of herself, and she was so wrapped up in her cocoon that she refuses to heed anyone's advice, insisting her stance, a wrong one at that. so can I say it's self-awareness gone wrong?
I felt sorry but yet not quite since what was communicated to her turned on deaf ears. She thought she knew a great deal of herself, living in self-denial.
Her agenda in life did not include understanding people,
instead her perceptions were built on false assumptions, and lack of empathy.
Her claims, her accusations, her lack of logical thinking, nauseates me.
Given her ripe age, I thought I could learn from her experiences.
But alas, all I saw, was her utter disregard of respect for human beings.

I always smirked at the thought: mourning the death of my social life? Thats what my buddy always says. The past 2 years were a loss of social & family life,
& whatever little life I have got there.
For those who I had lost you, I wished I would find you back again.

They always say, when you lose some, you will gain some.

I am glad I earned the respect of those who believed in me.
Some of whom were in the line a decade ago!
You need to walk the talk & practice what you preached.
I learnt that when you want respect, you need to earn it,
through SHEER hard work.

NONETHELESS,

No more late nights, irregular meals, endless paperwork, chipped nails, ugly uniforms, ridiculous customers, menopause-reaching co-worker & mourning of my social life!

To sum it up:
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want.
I like to think that if my losses exceeds my gains, let the difference be experiences instead.

Now every day after March is a bliss. :)