Sanity Restored!

2 years of wrecked nerves, being a social misfit.
It's OVER!

It's miraculous. how I could survive the past 2 years.
Like my buddy says, ''we were so strong!''

I can't help but to admit that parts of me had changed,
in the most unfortunate of ways.
I feel like I was thrown into some circumstances,
that which subconsciously altered my beliefs once held important to me.
Like some things were lost before you knew it.
To find them back, is harder than I thought.

To my utter dismay, my greatest loss is my patience.
Maybe some of you would have realised this.
Now I am no longer nice and easy-going, rather
I get easily irritated at the slightest & I figured
I can no longer smile at you for the same silly mistakes done over & over again.
How tragic, I thought.

The idea of losing temper at anyone was never in me 2 years ago.
I remembered I blew my top at someone in poly
(and we were no longer friends now) but I was never that way.
2 years down the road, it became so easy to lose it.
There is actually someone who can stretch my threshold of tolerance, & I eventually snapped.
Me think you are really something, to have taken a hard step on my toes.
Frustration with work was also multi-faceted, resulting in much emotional turmoil. Those were the days, totally insane.
Now that work is no longer on my mind, I decided to make good with my emotions. Think, think, think happy thoughts.

If given the chance, I truly prefer to work alone.
Call me anti-social, but never had I felt so strongly until I was in that job.
Or to put matters right, the RIGHT kind of people really matters. There is just some minority in this world who are such a pain to work with and managed to irritate the ass out of me.
I seriously can't figure out how in the world can anyone not able to work with me. Perhaps I need to do some soul-searching there?

The part about self-realization, a quality that I am still learning every other day. It's saddening to know of someone who thought she knows the world of herself, and she was so wrapped up in her cocoon that she refuses to heed anyone's advice, insisting her stance, a wrong one at that. so can I say it's self-awareness gone wrong?
I felt sorry but yet not quite since what was communicated to her turned on deaf ears. She thought she knew a great deal of herself, living in self-denial.
Her agenda in life did not include understanding people,
instead her perceptions were built on false assumptions, and lack of empathy.
Her claims, her accusations, her lack of logical thinking, nauseates me.
Given her ripe age, I thought I could learn from her experiences.
But alas, all I saw, was her utter disregard of respect for human beings.

I always smirked at the thought: mourning the death of my social life? Thats what my buddy always says. The past 2 years were a loss of social & family life,
& whatever little life I have got there.
For those who I had lost you, I wished I would find you back again.

They always say, when you lose some, you will gain some.

I am glad I earned the respect of those who believed in me.
Some of whom were in the line a decade ago!
You need to walk the talk & practice what you preached.
I learnt that when you want respect, you need to earn it,
through SHEER hard work.

NONETHELESS,

No more late nights, irregular meals, endless paperwork, chipped nails, ugly uniforms, ridiculous customers, menopause-reaching co-worker & mourning of my social life!

To sum it up:
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want.
I like to think that if my losses exceeds my gains, let the difference be experiences instead.

Now every day after March is a bliss. :)