be fun, fearless & free!

her world horoscope

2012-01-03T00:07:00.001+08:00

i am not one to mince on horoscope, nor take them seriously. but this is by far the most accurate zodiac snippets that I have ever come across. and I mean insanely, true to every word.

CAPRICORN - Dec 22 to Jan 19
Your year starts on quite an intense note, but this is welcome relief for someone who takes life as seriously as you. Set some realistic goals and try to maintain a healthy work-life balance. You often work too hard, but you're intent on getting a maximum dose of fun this month.

This month's memo: Take charge at home.
Birthday wish: To have yet another successful year at work.

tell me how not to ignore this.

2012 resolutions!

2012-01-01T14:42:00.002+08:00

i have always adore the new year's day.

and now i am making my 2012 resolutions with much determination, optimism & motivation!
1. earn & save a certain amount by end-2012.
2. achieve work-life balance & leave work on time!
3. be on time for work & apptments! (i am not even referring to being early!)
4. stop taking cabs unnecessarily! (and maybe sell off my comfort shares! :\ )
5. make time for my family & friends! esp my best friend!
6. save enough monies to bring my family for a small getaway.
7. curse lesser! & be kind with words!
8. keep procrastination away!
9. conceptualise my lil' entrepreneur aspirations.
10. be fun, fearless & free!

while 2011 have its ups & downs, i am glad that it end off with on a nice heartwarming note.
i met some really nice colleagues, although we might have parted, but i believe our paths will cross again.

to hanna quek, if you are reading this, i know i can never say enough of this but really, its a huge blessing to have known you. although its a short 3 months, i feel like we have met for the longest time.
you make me see my self-worth, when i feel at the bottom of the pit.
you helped restore my sanity, without me realising it.
you make my day by surprising me w lil' stuff, when i least expect it.
you make me curse & swear lesser (cos you are too sweet & demure to hear my expletives!).
sometimes you act stupid to make me laugh, but deep down you are a young intelligent lady with a mind of your own and a genuine heart so as to speak.
i know i will miss your whimsicalities when you lay your head on the table & pretend to sleep.
i know i will miss your notes & post-its with your lovely (not childish) handwritings,
cos its always a pleasant surprise, when i return to my desk, knowing you are still there.
you are one of my admired people i look up to! you have my sincerest heart!

as i type this, i found myself fighting back the tears cos i am missing you very much now.
till we meet again, take lots of care! you are meant to run wild, and fly high ~ xoxo

2011-10-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

when the going gets tough, we all need a stronghold to lean on.

how often is it that what you wish for, come true?

super hooked with coldplay's paradise, my sentiments for the month, totally.

When she was just a girl

She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
and dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
and the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly
and dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
She'd dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh
lalalalalalalalalalala

And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"

kids are the colours of the nation!

2011-09-11T02:43:00.010+08:00

Cant help but to share my favourite boy of the moment!

and he never fails to impress me with his drawings always!

kids are such bundles of joy that you will forgive them however mischeivous they get!

when happiness last.

2011-09-11T01:26:00.009+08:00

It's been a juggle of struggles ever since May this year.

I really hate to complain but fortunately whining does help to relieve all the mounting stress & I am slowly not letting them engulf me even though they really manage to kill me at the end of every single day. When the very same thoughts surface every day, I knew I wasnt going to be happy. After all, who is happy to work obscenely long hours till 11pm, lunch at your work desk, not to mention working into the weekends, denting my social life and facing a damn-stiff neck and shoulders? Is that the price to pay in the name of experience?

Today, I saw the rainforest tree shed its leaves.
It was such a beautiful sight.
I smiled to myself and thought how joy could be so simple.
That which I am missing out every day.

Inspiring to Inspire.

2011-04-10T01:05:00.008+08:00

I count myself very fortunate to work with some young minds & many young-at-hearts.
Inspiration never stops and it's renewed every saturday.
It's this pillar of strength that never cease to inspire me,
and Wayne is so good at it.
To term it teachings would sound like preachings.
Because I am not fond of big unrealistic dreams,
it makes more sense for sensible practical goals.

Felt the need to record and share some good stuff that I got from him:

i) "Every game in life has its own definition of what it means to win. There is always a scoreboard. If a team is to accomplish its goals, it has to know where it stands. Our point system is just a tool to help teams look at themselves in light of progress. Why is that important? Cos teams that succeed make adjustments to continually improve themselves and their situations. As we begin, planning is very important and the scores mean nothing. But as the game goes on, planning means less and less, and scoreboard becomes more and more significant. Cos the game is constantly changing. Planning tells what you want to happen. But the scoreboard tells you what is happening. Scoreboard is essential to understanding, evaluating, deciding, adjusting and winning."

ii) "A team fails to reach its potential when it fails to pay the price. The price must be paid by everyone - else everyone will pay the price by losing. The price must be paid all the time - there is no substitute for work, it's the price of success. The price increases if the team wants to keep winning. The price never decreases - nobody sets out with the purpose of losing. Most people who quit dont give up at the bottom of the mountain, they stop halfway up it."

iii) "When you do well, you think it's worth it. When you sacrifice too much and you finally do well, it feels really good. In other words, when you're winning, nothing hurts. Each team is a winner during evaluation week, just bigger or smaller winner."

Working with young minds kept me very grounded.
The constant relating of teamwork here brings me reminders of my previous work and seemingly how I could have done it better.

What better good to spend a saturday afternoon being inspired to inspire young minds?

favourite quote of the moment:

teamwork makes dreams work!

Sanity Restored!

2011-04-02T01:16:00.024+08:00

2 years of wrecked nerves, being a social misfit.
It's OVER!

It's miraculous. how I could survive the past 2 years.
Like my buddy says, ''we were so strong!''

I can't help but to admit that parts of me had changed,
in the most unfortunate of ways.
I feel like I was thrown into some circumstances,
that which subconsciously altered my beliefs once held important to me.
Like some things were lost before you knew it.
To find them back, is harder than I thought.

To my utter dismay, my greatest loss is my patience.
Maybe some of you would have realised this.
Now I am no longer nice and easy-going, rather
I get easily irritated at the slightest & I figured
I can no longer smile at you for the same silly mistakes done over & over again.
How tragic, I thought.

The idea of losing temper at anyone was never in me 2 years ago.
I remembered I blew my top at someone in poly
(and we were no longer friends now) but I was never that way.
2 years down the road, it became so easy to lose it.
There is actually someone who can stretch my threshold of tolerance, & I eventually snapped.
Me think you are really something, to have taken a hard step on my toes.
Frustration with work was also multi-faceted, resulting in much emotional turmoil. Those were the days, totally insane.
Now that work is no longer on my mind, I decided to make good with my emotions. Think, think, think happy thoughts.

If given the chance, I truly prefer to work alone.
Call me anti-social, but never had I felt so strongly until I was in that job.
Or to put matters right, the RIGHT kind of people really matters. There is just some minority in this world who are such a pain to work with and managed to irritate the ass out of me.
I seriously can't figure out how in the world can anyone not able to work with me. Perhaps I need to do some soul-searching there?

The part about self-realization, a quality that I am still learning every other day. It's saddening to know of someone who thought she knows the world of herself, and she was so wrapped up in her cocoon that she refuses to heed anyone's advice, insisting her stance, a wrong one at that. so can I say it's self-awareness gone wrong?
I felt sorry but yet not quite since what was communicated to her turned on deaf ears. She thought she knew a great deal of herself, living in self-denial.
Her agenda in life did not include understanding people,
instead her perceptions were built on false assumptions, and lack of empathy.
Her claims, her accusations, her lack of logical thinking, nauseates me.
Given her ripe age, I thought I could learn from her experiences.
But alas, all I saw, was her utter disregard of respect for human beings.

I always smirked at the thought: mourning the death of my social life? Thats what my buddy always says. The past 2 years were a loss of social & family life,
& whatever little life I have got there.
For those who I had lost you, I wished I would find you back again.

They always say, when you lose some, you will gain some.

I am glad I earned the respect of those who believed in me.
Some of whom were in the line a decade ago!
You need to walk the talk & practice what you preached.
I learnt that when you want respect, you need to earn it,
through SHEER hard work.

NONETHELESS,

No more late nights, irregular meals, endless paperwork, chipped nails, ugly uniforms, ridiculous customers, menopause-reaching co-worker & mourning of my social life!

To sum it up:
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want.
I like to think that if my losses exceeds my gains, let the difference be experiences instead.

Now every day after March is a bliss. :)

pretty private

2011-02-25T02:35:00.002+08:00

when I am down, I clean my room.
that explains why I had been cleaning for the past 4 days.

when I am stressed, I eat my heart out.
so I haven't been eating (much) for the past 4 days.

when I am contemplating about life, I lay in bed & stare at my ceiling.
so I had been conjuring endless thoughts & soul-searching for the past 4 days.

let that be the last I saw of you.
for all what is left are nothing but remnants of memories forgotten & lost.

torn yet again.

2011-02-21T01:02:00.002+08:00

I couldn't get my feelings right today.
not when I saw you, I shunned & hide.
I know not what to say.
I had to think of what to say.

whoever said time will heal things,
you are wrong.

so I was wrong all along,
when I thought I had long gotten over you.

alas, I lost my mind again today.

Spread the Love!

2011-02-14T23:00:00.003+08:00

Because red roses are not everything, commitment is.
where is the love, you say!
I say, live & love like it's valentine's day everyday!

spreading love to all my dearies!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

- xoxo all year round! -

2010-12-16T17:21:00.006+08:00

"when fatigue inspires indifference, saps motivation, dampens courage & persuades us to stay a little longer as a refugee of our own comfort zone, we face a crisis that which protects us also condemns us."

(sifting through the long-forgotten dampened with nostalgia; mourning their last, and paying tribute to the time when life was simpler, fearless & free.)

Random Feeds

2010-11-30T01:45:00.009+08:00

this entry has been sitting here way too long & i know, i am slowly lifting the cob webs off this space & possibly any spiders too!

Just the other day, bro was fiddling with my iPod, says there's some software updates & stuff.
BUT it turns out that all my apps are being deleted, thats including all my calendar jots, pics, spontaneous notes & memos & whatnots!
So guess my loss when faced with an empty ipod! Thankfully at least all my songs are recovered.
I would feel so naked without them! worse than losing an arm or a leg! :(
that's just how much technology has taken charge & I thought there is nothing I can do about it.

these days, my hair had been falling at an alarming rate.
Not sure if it's the shampoo or either way I pull my hair out every other day subconsciously since it's gonna be a crazy month with incredibly sky-high targets & wrapping frenzies only if my heart can take it!

2010-10-20T09:04:00.002+08:00

too drained.
too deprived.
too desperate.

all i can think of is,
i would be happily ever after, in 5 months' time.

wake me up when september ends

2010-09-30T00:53:00.007+08:00

it's been a, treacherous month.

I hate it when I am always racing against time.
I hate it when I need to apologise for missed deadlines.
I hate it when I need to pick up someone else's loose ends.
I hate it when I need to cover up for things not done by me, yet answerable for.

just when I thought my life is still in a somewhat, random sensible order, some incidents just had to happen to make me rethink the kind of life that I want to lead. that there is just so little time to appreciate everyone. that when too many mistakes are made, there probably won't be enough time to put things right again. that when we are too caught up in the daily grind, we missed so many contact points of bonding. I sincerely appreciate all the blogs, tweets etc. As naive as it sounds, thanks all dear friends who blogs, tweets, msn, fbing, sms & call me to update me snippets & insights to your lives.

Everyone is growing old together. Life is just too fragile, too vulnerable.

Before it's too late, I gonna pick up the pen & jot down whatever lil memories & thoughts I have before dementia hits me.

how to live longer & healthier

2010-09-07T00:44:00.006+08:00

I read that, boredom could be fatal.
"Researchers from the University College London found people who said they were regularly bored were two-and-a-half times more likely to die early than more-stimulated types." -gasps-

Read again: "Complainers have worse physical and mental health than other people."
And we (complainers!) are advised not to say it when a whiny thought pops into our heads.

Credits to these researchers.
These duly account for my weakening physique, bad temper, all the obscenities & vulgarities.
I always have this slight premonition that I ain't gonna live a long life, like at most 55 or something. There must be a certain truth in this, since I knew I am easily bored. Nothing excites me quite much. But not for now, at least after I learnt this terrible truth.

For someone who spends her free time writing boredom on her face, it's tough!
worse come worse, from now on, I shall pretend that my life is all well & up, and keep my mouth shut when things go wrong.

afterthoughts

2010-09-05T02:57:00.010+08:00

pardon my long long absence.

partly cos i cant blog easily from my handy device,
plus me feels i should spare yours truly from my incessant whinings which wont end any soon,
hence i chose not to blog but lest this page turns mouldy,
here's some scribbles of some sorts...

the feeling of nesting at home; nursing some goodness-knows-what ailment; and missing out on dinner dates, birthday parties, SIMPLY SUCKS. and thats what little social life I have got, now worse.

wonder if sometimes it takes some health scares to warn me that I am hell-soaked at work & a break is what i need the most. like maybe work simply doesn't need me as much as I thought. however short this sabbatical is, I made a silent promise that I shan't be sold/married/slaved to this hell of a work. 6++ months to go & I am seriously happily counting down! ssshhhhh!

once in a while, we will hear someone close complain about some tactless remarks uttered by people who matters to them. turns out they feel pissed, & disappointed by these senseless remarks but little did they know these remarks are made out of senselessness & dont meant harm. but such is the way with speech, words, & with the way how distant sms/emails can get, seemingly trivial & tactless remarks can greatly affect OUR moods & emotions. so people, even if it takes like forever to learn, let's learn the art of being tactful so that we wont run the risk of being slapped with the title of unfeeling when we really dont mean to.

enough said, dont all of us gradually realise, we dont need fancy restaurants, fantastic ambience, cool settings, but just the right company, we feel insanely therapeutic. as cliche as it sounds, it's really the company that matters, isnt it! :)

this month, there is an air of lightness; learnt a bit more about letting go (especially at work!); and am leaving procrastination at bay too!

furthermore, 1 more day of work is 1 lesser day at work. GREAT! :)

check check.

2010-06-24T13:52:00.002+08:00

damn i am one of those deprived souls who work obscene hours and yes horrifically sold to my job, but thank goodness now my ipod touch save me from having zero cyber life...hahha no social life at least have cyber life can! yay i dont know how but it just has this strange ability to put me in a good mood every now & then. like how i can smile and not curse & swear when i missed my station cos i was playing angrybirds, and not to mention the adrenaline rush when i reach level 4 of diamond bubble! hahha i only regret not getting it earlier!

okay i could blabber non-stop but shit its month end now, i hope half the singapore population come buy at my store & i need not worry about my sales targets, my tickets, my quantities, my average dah dah dah. man can they have one more PC show this weekend? hahhah i am ending this shit soon. seriously cant wait. even got the letter ready. :) meantime i still need anti-depressants to combat my swinging moods which even my staff cant tahan. hhahha done & out!

still sane

2010-06-07T02:14:00.006+08:00

Just the other day, I was telling a longtime friend that I thought my work was still fine.
(Or rather that's what i told everyone!)

Even though,
I still expect calls on my off days,
I still dont ever leave work on time,
I still clock insane hours at work,
I still bring work home sometimes.
(minus the crazy cabbing!)

BUT

when I go back to work & see the insane amount of work,
I pull my hair, scream, holler & yell at everyone!

okay, enough! I told myself I will treat my colleagues better.
So, for this ten months, I promise to be good and sane and not frighten my staff away! :)

madness comes with age.

2010-05-30T11:08:00.007+08:00

when earphones & music becomes almost indispensable.
i am not sure if this comes with age.

i hate to admit this,
but put me in a social setting,
and the feeling of awkwardness becomes extremely overwhelming.
catching up is tough because there seems no point to begin with.
forgive me if i dont make small talks with you.

because i hardly talk, i can hardly hear myself now.

"the weight of lies & contradictions that you live with everyday"

- Aftermath by Adam Lambert

2010-04-13T01:50:00.001+08:00

I never bring my problems at home to work.

But I always bring my problems at work back home. wtf.

compassion saves the world

2010-04-11T01:30:00.005+08:00

"When you show compassion - and when you receive it - you are being productive.''

- Letters to Sam by Daniel Gottlieb

very often, we determined our level of productivity by the number of tasks we acheived, within a specific time frame, and seemed awfully delighted with some sense of satisfaction. how many times have we marvelled at the so-many-episodes of korean or taiwanese dramas which we managed to chase & considered ourselves to be productive? multi-tasking seemed to the rule of the day & we seemed to equate productivity with accomplishments, only to find ourselves getting increasingly self-absorbed & driven by results, results & more results.

thanks best friend for the very therapeutic read. it manages to calm me somehow. :)

so close yet so far.

2010-04-04T02:04:00.006+08:00

no smile,

no eye contact,

no flicker of recognition,

the moment you turned & walked away,

i know we have left nothing that we once shared.

i had since kept you in my dreams,

for when i let reality sink in, then i realised it hurts like hell.

we are, merely facebook acquaintances, who never met.

now, can someone wake me up from this dream?

2010-03-30T12:09:00.002+08:00

"Home is where we care for ourselves, where we repair our bodies & minds

from the damage wrought by the outside world."

liberation!

2010-03-24T09:29:00.006+08:00

am into my third day of zest & liberation :)

life's simple & good. nothing spells better than the strength to exercise free will.

life should just be this way, free from stress & worries, isn't it?

thou shall take time to smell the wind, feel the fresh morning dew & relish in the delight of the splendid. now it's all about good books, great music & awesome company to light the day.

so for the time being, nothing dark or sombre shall fill this post :)

exasperation

2010-03-04T15:59:00.008+08:00

i have nothing against some chinese counterparts. not unless when -

i have a huge problem with their standard of ang-moh!

i found myself explaining-cum-translating the meanings of 'weekend', 'schedule' (cos she only understands 'timetable') and what, i have to translate what is a 'payslip' too?!?

i think this is getting nowhere BUT i still have to put up to all these.

right, this might be all about giving chance, and testing my high threshold for tolerance. this is patience in check man. well, talk about all in a day's work!

happy TIGER year!

2010-02-15T01:13:00.003+08:00

its the time of the year again.

auspicious reds are everywhere.

and the good ol' cny songs are buzzing.

went visiting. its like the same old atmosphere - eat, eat, eat & eat.
everything is quite the same. the same folks are getting on fine, and everybody is well & about. but still, this annual get-together serves as an assurance. and it strucks me its a such simple bliss that everything & everyone is here, and still here.

save for my sis who is away from home this cny. no one to pig with me, no one to play with in between the seemingly long and short festive season. much misses!!! :(

still, wishing all a happy TIGER Year, everyone! :)

Alexander McQueen (16 Mar 1969 - 11 Feb 2010)

2010-02-12T12:15:00.005+08:00

This is just about the shockest news!

Remember Gaga's breathtaking outfits & the skyhigh Armadillo shoes in bad romance!

If there are any designs which shout outrageous, they are gonna be Alexander McQueen's.

Let's pay tribute to this phenomenal British Fashion Designer:

Lee Alexander McQueen

16 March 1969 - 11 Feb 2010

the other world,

2010-02-11T20:32:00.006+08:00

the scarcity of wealth.

if only money dont rule the world,
let love makes the world go round.

feel these pictures tug your heartstrings at http://www.zoriah.com/.

ran out of.

2010-01-28T02:12:00.004+08:00

pardon my long absence.

found life a bore.
i just kept working, sleeping, working, eating & working.

while i find myself deleting the very words i am typing,
i am increasingly getting dumb & speechless from the serious lack of social interaction.

run. ran. and running. out. of. words.

that explains it.

new perspective

2009-12-11T01:53:00.003+08:00

Today I did a mental housekeeping, making room for new & positive thoughts. :)

an altered state of confusion.

2009-12-02T23:46:00.006+08:00

"when we were small, we think of opening shops & be our own bosses.

as we grow up, there are many factors like rent to consider & you know its not easy."

-some random words from my doc

not as if its the first time i heard someone say this.

aint it ironic that i am hearing this from a high-flying dental specialist whose clinic is located right smack in Paragon?!?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

happiness do not last indeed.

sometimes i guess, just be really grateful that you are not feeling sad instead.

away with the grim & gloom! it's my happy month now!

rant no more

2009-11-17T01:22:00.006+08:00

i sincerely apologize to some of you who have been the unfortunate receivers of my rants & whatnots of late! haha now i am secretly delighted that the days ahead might just get better & peace shall prevail!

grim & gloomy

2009-11-11T14:03:00.003+08:00

this year the xmas decors came all too soon,
seemingly a reminder to all that xmas is coming.
perhaps an early attempt to bang on the consumer dollar,
but think it failed miserably in creating THE jolly atmosphere at all.

my favourite month is coming soon.
but there is not a single ounce of exhilaration on my part.

in the name of work,
know i will be missing out on all the happenings with my favourite people,
& spending the xmas with acquaintances & strangers.

dah. what a grim & gloomy month ahead.

welcome to hell.

2009-11-11T13:32:00.004+08:00

for my friends who i did not inform personally,
am no longer at HM,
but now at marina square.

it's been barely 2 weeks.
but driven nuts by what else but the staff.
they are like wtf.

am optimistic still! so i went:
sifting thru online job adverts,
checking out the weekly jobmails,
flipping the classifieds every now & then,
and considering possible freelance jobs.

teach me how to survive in this hell of a place.

counting down: 1 year, 4 months & 19 days.

temper in check.

2009-10-14T01:15:00.002+08:00

i might have blurted some things out in a manner i dont meant it to be.
yet nonetheless nothing but the truth.

much as my life is mundane & merely monotonous,
i think it sucks when somebody has to tell you that straight into your face.
this really sucks.

not quite the same.

2009-10-13T23:53:00.002+08:00

today i awoke with a mild depression. and dementia.
looks like age is really getting on me.
dread dread dread.

lost.

2009-10-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

i miss all my friends like anything...

happiness makeover

2009-09-29T00:56:00.003+08:00

I guess being stucked at an environment for long, no matter how
comfy it gets, can render one stale & lethargic.
So we human beings DO need some form of inspiration & change
of environment in order to lend to new ideas & chemistry, isnt it?

having said that, there might be some new challenges
in store for me this upcoming new month :)
i hope & i pray! await this space!

exhilaration of the unknown

2009-09-24T00:16:00.003+08:00

thanks for every & anyone who bother to check out this dormant-and-close-to-extinction space.

i actually have this queeer thought that it's alright to be missing from each other's lives, spacing out from all possible points of contact, only to realise that i missed my usual company & the ocassional perks & indulges, no matter how insignificant it might appear to some.

like you know, i just see myself running in circles & chasing my own tail. i just cant pretend that i am leading a better-than-good life & act like 'yea, i am doing fine'.

when longing turns unbearable, such is the harsh reality of life.

i just have to keep on dreaming.

2009-08-09T00:52:00.004+08:00

people say, things change.
i think, people change.

its no longer innocence, but ignorance.

do i know you, do i know you not?

dreamy over fireflies

2009-08-09T00:15:00.010+08:00

its when the toys came alive at night to play.

rail trains running on detachable railway tracks,

mini dinosaurs devouring your childhood fears,

inflatable airships cushioning against black & white nostalgic telly sets with long antenna.

forget about melancholic lovey songs with sounds of regrets,or angsty rappy songs.

fireflies makes me dreamy all over.

Fireflies by Owl City

"I'd like to make myself believe. that planet earth turns slowly.

it's hard to say that i'd rather stay awake when i am asleep.

because my dreams are bursting at the seams."

(catch this vid. its awesome!)

city of wonder

2009-07-31T12:33:00.001+08:00

i am in a city of hope & confidence,

duly responsible for building heaps of trust in mankind,

particularly womankind.

------------------------

finally a day off with my favourite girlfriendss!!

all work & no play makes elaine a dull girl!!

off to meet my girlfriends later! so :) like anything!!

practise what you preach.

2009-06-28T01:22:00.008+08:00

work has been getting increasingly disheartening, not to mention on various occasions, i thought i might just need a puff like what almost everyone is hanging onto, but eventually decided it certainly wont help things, & i had better not put my lungs at risk. instead i shall stick to my sinful indulgence of bubble tea & chew all the stress away.

these days, i have been taught to be self-motivated, optimistic & henceforth spread these seeds of motivation. it's often wiser to let go of the past, concentrate on the present & plan for the future. but now who is there to motivate me when i needed it the most?

uh huh, talk is so cheap.

still counting down: 20 mths & 15 days

drowned.

2009-06-14T01:57:00.007+08:00

while i break into occasional lapses of emo thoughts,
i made some silent convictions to:

complain less,
work more,
curse less,
stop gorging in the wee hours,
and refrain from sleeping at some obscene hours then cab to work the next morn.

enough.

it's always like this.
you know life is short.
and you know at the back of ur head,
you harbour the biggest dreams alive.
yet each day, you are chocked full of things to accomplish.
and the big dreams are floating like castles in the air.

drowning i am. yes, when i cant even swim.

NYP Class of 2009

2009-05-27T03:17:00.010+08:00

25 May 2009

NYP Graduation - Class of 2009

BM 0626 - thanks for all the memories we shared in school, lectures, tutorials, projects, birthday celebrations, makan outings, napfa preps and whatever. it's indeed not easy to forge wholesome, sincere relationships but i am all glad you guys make them work. thank you people for keeping me sane. it's with tumultous ordeals that we become stronger. more great days to come yea! :)

BM 0612 - my favourite girls! I know I can never thank you girls enough. sometimes I hope I can hold on to whatever we have now & maintain like this, and even better. but i know time change and people change. still may we have more more great years to come & our date on 10 Jan 2017, 7 pm. :)

When I wake in the morning, thinking of my friends I have been missing. I found myself reminscing the innocence we all hold and all the little things you guys make my life great. :)

when less is more.

2009-05-13T23:02:00.007+08:00

(c) Finding Joy comic by Luke Ramsey

a little less stress & worries,

brings peace & comfort to the most savaged soul.

loves :)

2009-05-10T01:01:00.004+08:00

8th May

it didnt take me long to realise this: some friends are for lifetime & I am glad I found you gals. :)

I just knew it when we sit down, we can just talk everything under the moon & sun.

as usual, time flies when you are having fun with girlfriends you love.

thank you girls for being ever accommodating.

To Yuexin: you are ever so cute! I know I do roll my eyes at your jokes sometimes but seriously, I love talking to you cos you never fail to brighten up someone's days with your jokes :)

To Shijun: You have always been very thoughtful and I know I can count on you on anything. Thanks for being there and I love you for who you are :)

To Tan Peifen: I just cant stop laughing at your antics/ slang/ angmoh inclinations and your sandcastles-in-the-air, no matter how hard i try. but you know, I am always laughing with you, not at you. hahhhaha :)

To Germaine: You are like our counsellor, dispensing sound advice to perhaps a disillusioned and resigned person like me. Thanks for being around. :)

I dont need many friends or acquaintances when I have a bunch of girlfriends I can truly count on. having said that, I want to repeat: I LOVE YOU GIRLS!

inked for life.

2009-05-09T16:21:00.005+08:00

It's strange how you will never forget the unhappy stuff, no matter how long it takes.
yet unknowingly or conveniently forget the happy times you had even just moments ago. what a miserable double life.

if only happiness can be engraved or inked. if only.

shout out!

2009-04-26T03:07:00.002+08:00

I can't say enough of this,
but I REALLY REALLY MISS ALL MY FRIENDS. :(
My work is killing me softly.

crying without tears.

2009-04-26T02:51:00.005+08:00

21 Apr 09
In bad times like this,
when one just succumbs to the lure of fast gains
to meet his/her materialistic wants.
And compromise on integrity.
What a moment of folly,
and a lifetime of anguish.

23 Apr 09
if anyone were to ask me if i regretted my decision of the 2-yr work bond,
I would have said no. Not until today.
When I thought the world came crashing down on me.

what a big hoo-ha

2009-04-11T22:35:00.005+08:00

i dont get it.
a day can just whiz by without me knowing it.
it doesnt help that i have tonnes on my to-do list,
& i am not striking anyone of them!

if there is anything this week that got me up & excited,
it is the spanking new tampines 1!
it boasts of new brands like the highly anticipated Uniqlo!
and oh, not to mention there is a new sasa outlet in t1 as well :)
what a cool new addition to the local retail scene!
suburban malls are getting bigger. kudos to that!
bet they are also the first to have their own blog: http://tampines1.wordpress.com
way cool isnt it!

in perspective

2009-04-07T01:40:00.004+08:00

gloomy thoughts always surface when work starts but this time round it's a different perspective. perhaps it's only a matter of time before i get restless. just hope i wont get jaded faster than i thought. say, 2 years dont seem too long but 24 months can be insane. whichever the case, i know to make things work, i have to be positive, take the initiative to learn as much as i can & continue to believe in the goodness in people. the good old mantra always works.

peek into a gecko's life

2009-04-07T00:43:00.004+08:00

"In my dreams, I am a gecko. Upside down, my feet firmly planted on the ceiling. I gaze at the antics of humans as they go about their busy, human lives. Unlike us poor dumb creatures, humans have extremely large brains, and they lead deeply meaningly lives. In the day, they work, they play, they quarrel, they fight; at night, they socialise, they reflect, and most importantly, they fret about what to do when the sun rises again. Life as a gecko is much simpler. Sleep. Wake. See fly, eat fly."

- 12 Storeys, from the critically acclaimed film by Eric Khoo

holding on.

2009-03-31T11:41:00.007+08:00

另一张脸 by Stefanie Sun

刮了一阵大风莫明奇妙变天
无缘无故心情灰
站在窗前感觉就算世界少了我
其实也无所谓
蠢蠢欲动黑暗那一面不停的在变形
吞掉我的极限
陷在又冷又黑的悲观里
就像出现另一张脸

看着这张陌生的脸自己都讨厌
觉得心情起伏不定没有人了解
觉得孤独想大声哭觉得活得累
觉得一切一切全都虚伪
我想像个傻子一样笑着过一天
想要看着你的薇笑相信有明天
想要留下每一分钟快乐的感觉
偏偏这张脸在我意志脆弱无奈
又胡思乱想害怕时就出现不了解
(看不见灰的脸我的脸)

it's when you found your eyes wide open in the wee hours

you realise you could no longer sleep your troubles away.

lone.

2009-03-31T00:16:00.002+08:00

the past few days had been a struggle.

like you misplace the hopes of friendship & may not trace it back.

even if it's gonna be back, you know it wont be the same again.

like you lost it even when you are holding it close to you.

it's official!

2009-03-27T08:34:00.001+08:00

/ starting work on April's Fools' Day /

/ hougang mall sasa /

.like i cant wait. no i dread. but it's 5-day week.

.so nevermind its fine. be cooped up. and work my ass off.

Hotel for Dogs

2009-03-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

24/2/09

caught Hotel For Dogs at City Square.

i just cant get enough of pups and doggies!
the movie sees Andi (Emma Roberts) and her science whiz bro saving stray pups and doggies and putting them up at an abandoned hotel and later on transforming it into a home for the doggies. :)

perhaps these kids put themselves in their doggies' paws, & love them as if they were their guardian angels. it's instantly heartwarming & therein lies my favourite character, friday! call me fickle, but i am totally falling in love with jack russell terriers now! its a feel-good movie, so worth the catch. "Thank God it's friday!"

artspirations.

2009-03-16T09:07:00.000+08:00

Noise Singapore Festival Showcase

Far East Plaza Level One / 6th - 29th Mar 09

Explore this annual design showcase at the outskirts of level one.

Be wowed by some quirky & whimsical designs, and let your mind wanders. :)

Title: Toys Are Not Us

Artist: Khairil

my favourite artpiece of the day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Come-in

National Museum / 21st Jan - 12 Apr 09

A presentation of contemporary furniture & interiors

which challenges the very idea of furniture

serving aesthetical and practical uses.

Left: this is perhaps the most prominent & provocative piece

which is akin to a bar counter. be invited to sit on the high stool and treated to images of the big M & our

famous home-grown beer. a 'warning' sign is placed

to remind on-lookers of its 'disturbing' images, of which are pictures all-too-familiar, yet conjure images of radioactivity and its hazards. so blatant and downright in-your-face,

you realise. both brands are well-loved by the masses

and they probably serve as hedonistic pleasures to some.

still, cant help it that the big M is always associated with

mass culture & globalisation.

wonder what will APB think of this?

---------------------------------------------------------------

The Life of my Sisters.

A photoessay by Debby Ng & Edwin Koo / 5th Mar - 30th Apr 09

drop by for a dose of love & hope.

seen through the lenses of these photojournalists, we are taken to Nepal to experience the lives of girls. the girls we see here are fortunate for they blessed with scholarships, by The Little Sisters Fund. to them, education is a privilege, not a right.

on hindsight, I realised I am fortunate too.

Marley and Me

2009-03-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

caught Marley and Me with Ka Gek, Joey, Ye Leng and Jodie.
it’s so tear-jerking towards the end that warm tears just flow without you knowing it.
are we losing sight of the goals we once held and clinging to seemingly important things we thought are practical?
I told myself, even if I grow old and spouseless, I would want to spend my golden years with my favourite yorkshire terrier. :)

Dedicated to BM0626

2009-03-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

In light of Kok Wee's post, nostalgia hits me and I found myself recalling the first time I came to this class in year 2 sem 1 and how I hated it. I didn't like how I was being separated from my year one clique and knowing I couldn't study hospitality with some of them. I remembered vividly I dreaded coming to school and how lonely I felt then. how time flies! well well, now I am glad I am able to take this opportunity to thank the following people in my year 2 & 3 class.

To BM0626:

Aishah > Having chatted with you for quite a while, I find that you are well-versed and confident. and ya, you have a great smile I must say! Even though we do not really talk much in class, I think you are a rather outgoing person. Keep on smiling! :)

Alfred > Even though I find you quite irritating sometimes but still I manage to be on rather good terms with you. Goodness knows why but to think we are classmates for 3 years alr! I am always impressed by your passion for sports and equally appalled by your amazingly huge appetite! I still remember at Leo's place for bbq in year 1, I see the compassionate side of you when you are cuddling her doggie. and man, dont you call me 'Aunty'anymore!

Ashaari > I find you very humourous and down-to-earth. Got to know you better in MSC Cheers and you are undeniably our leader! You are responsible and good with your hands too. I remembered I was overwhelmed when I saw that you have mended the hinges of the lil' cupboard in MSC Cheers. kudos to you! Despite your busy working schedule, you never fail to complete your parts on time and I really respect you for that. and yes, thanks for being my 1/6 of my entrep group - rushing the entrep ppt slides and the last min madness! we have survived it! thanks for all the work! :)

Azfar > Personally I think you are one of those cool people I have known with a kick-ass attitude. From our EMRS times when we did our rounds of selling in school, you displayed such street-smart and it's never worrying to do stuff and projects with you cos you always have a way of getting around things and be so cool and confident about it. Smart guy you are! but dont overwork yourself ya!

Benedict > I am always impressed by your knowledge in IT, automobiles and stuff, of which I have seemingly lil knowledge of and cant seem to get round to learning them. anyway, I know sometimes what I say to you might be bit harsh but you know, it's for your own good. So good if you are accepting those constructive criticisms alright!

Bing Song > Smart aleck aka bao-kao-liao. Got to know you better in MSC Cheers, when you offered to do all sorts of cleaning in the store. Then got to know you even better in the last semester. I know entrep is quite a shit and I know you did bulk of the shit. SO i owe you like xxx treats. I know you have been tolerating my last min cock ups especially with my website etc that you have to chiong to school on cab like dont know how many times. especially I know I panick a lot and when I do I cant think straight and you will do the thinking for me. SO I owe you xxx treats and yyy favours. so when can I give you a treat? and like seriously, when can i stop owing you treats? lol.

Emily > Emily! haven't hang out with you for so long but hope you have been doing great :) to me, you are always that pretty, stylish and soft-spoken young lady who loves dogs so much! when are you going to be a zookepper? or when you have opened a farm in nearby Aussie or distant Germany, let me know and I will go visit! :D

Firdaus > You probably dont talk much in class but when you do, it always came out ultra-hilarious, all thanks to your sharp sense of humour. Having done a few projects with you, I find you responsible and you have a knack for thinking on your own feet.

Haini > I have done a few projects with you and I know you always give your best in doing your parts. but you know, maybe you should learn to reject people and speak your mind. That way, you won't be doing things that you are reluctant to isn't it? dont be too nice kays! anyways, you are a very sweet girl me thinks! :)

Ice > My first impression of you is that you are quite a beng. and too bad your hokkien vulgarities made it even more so. but so what? I think you are quite a nice chap after all and yes, you are a man (minus the vulgarities that is!)! I mean you are very gung-ho! and I am impressed! dont mind your past cos it's what makes you now, so dont be so emo dude! you will find your special someone soon!

Janson > I know you have been trying your best with your projects this sem. thanks you too, my 1/6 of my entrep group! and oh thanks for always telling (and reminding me!) that I dont look like my age. I dont know if I should be happy anot. anyways please stop whining to me that you wanna lose weight! wait till you are skinnier than me than you know! lol.

Jodie > Although sometimes I find you abit self-entertaining but all in all, you are a very funny personality man! you poke fun at your own size and seriously I find it cute that you always laugh it off. You know nobody minds it so you just keep blabbering about it anyway. I know you enjoy lots of booze but too many hangovers aint good for health yea! Nice to know you and guess what, your laughter is contagious! hahahha!

Joey > You know what? I will miss your unique pronunciation of 'hello'! hahha! I find you are spontaneous, in short very 'on' can! thanks for going to the LOVEamplified concert with me! and the late nights in doing IMC! I know you will be like a zombie if you dont sleep for the night! so thanks for everything Joey! hope you remain happy-go-lucky!

Ka Gek > First & foremost I would like to thank you for everything! You made my last poly semester so much more bearable! I know I wouldn’t have made it to school in time for all the dreadful morning classes if not for all your morning calls! even though you knew I would go back to sleep after your call! And I know even though we complain together for our entrep project but I know you want your work to be the best you can have and true enough, all of us are impressed with your marketing collaterals! You have the gift to go into marketing you know! thanks so much for being the 1/6 of my entrep group! I know I will miss all your buggings and phone calls! and not forgetting that you ride me during the night cycling! it's been hard on you and your tender legs! lol. thanks for doing everything with me. I can’t thank you enough. It’s been great hanging out with you babe! Ka Gek, you are the sweetest!

Kok Wee > My first impression of you is that you are quite a shy guy. And yes, I am so wrong! Cos once you warm up to people, you will crap like non-stop! but anyways I think you are kinda the most mild-mannered person I have come across and dont you have a temper at all? like seriously, do you ever get angry? cos I never saw that side of you before, not that i want to though. Still I think you are a very easy-going guy and it's been a joy to hang out with you. :) smart guy you are! but one thing about you huh, karma hor. if you get what I mean.

Leah > yes, hello kitty fan! you made me realise that hello kitty can be quite cute after all! and i would say you are just about the kind of girl who is cute but not in the kawaii sense but the way you talk is so funny and cute! most of the times when I hear you say anything, I almost always burst out laughing! even though I only get to know you better in the last semester, I know you are like Ice, very jiang-yi-qi kind!

Ling Lee > This sounds weird but I really have utter respect for people who are putting through long journey rides. Going back to and forth JB is no kidding, and I really appreciate all the projects with you too :) and of cos not forgetting you are 1/6 of my entrep group! thanks for all the work, especially in the financials! cos I sucked at it! you are like sze yun, very conscientious and responsible!

Sam > you know something? at first I cant get used to your cursings when I first know you. Back then I really dont understand why every sentence must start with f***, and it took me quite some time to get used to it (like after some time you breathe sanity into obscenities). Those who don't know you wont know you are someone who is easy to please and easy going. I know it sounds dumb right now but I will miss you and all your cursings -fuck, assholes, balls and dah dah dah. hope you are successful in your teaching application too! and oh oh, not forgetting your cute lil' chip :)

Shi Yao > You remind me of some businessman who is confident, but couldnt keep your eyes open! lol. nah, even though i have never worked with you before but I know you make a good friend. and did I tell you, you sing real well!

Sze Yun > You have been a very cheerful girl, Sze Yun! Even though sometimes your sense of humour can be abit 'chilling' but I must say those ultimate jokes for you really make me feel like rolling on the floor laughing! :p Even though I have only worked with you on 2 or 3 projects, you have an amazing ability to do in depth research! You are like the group's search engine can! and thanks for staying up the night for IMC, and rushing the ppt. Your great responsibility, I know I can always count on you for projects :)

Vanessa > Although we do not have much contact in school, I find you easy to talk to. :) I also think you are a very independent and confident young lady. From the way you brief during the handover of MSC Cheers, I think you have a great aptitude to be a leader! and I think you have a flair for presentations from the way your project presentations are always delivered with impeccable english.

Wayne > You have been a great friend, I must say. You are always encouraging, motivating and helpful to people around you, whether in studies, napfa etc. You simply hold such a positive outlook in life which I have never seen in on anybody. So when that incident happened and I sense that you ignored me, I got uneasy and upset. Never had I felt so close to losing a friend before. I realized how a friendship can turned so vulnerable with such insensitivity with words. I remembered you said you won't abandon true friends. I am glad you are back with us cos in case you dont know, you matter a lot to us.

Ye Leng > Our names share almost the same pronunciation that sometimes I thought people are calling me. so embarrassing! anyway I would like to thank you for always tolerating me and placing so much trust in me. Thanks for believing in me and I hope every project you have done with me is a good one just like what you have contributed to your projects - top notch quality eh! must keep in contact eh!

Yin Yee > Even though we do not have much chance to hang out with each other but I know you are a very sincere friend and essentially down-to-earth too. Hope your health has got better and better with each day. then you will be back in shape ya!

Amidst all the hustle & bustle in your lives, do hope all of us can still stay in touch, at the same time reach out for our goals in life. :)

penned and signed,
with nostalgia

sing eat no more.

2009-03-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

so today i got my lower row of teeth bonded.
it's a long & painful ordeal, & i am glad my mouth is still in one piece.
all thanks for now i would miss out on all great food.
dont harass to see my teeth it's still crowded like mad.
but i am hopeful.
just that it's plain sad to be deprived of food, food and food.

broke and broken.

Shout Out

2009-03-02T11:48:00.000+08:00

its been barely 3 days but i am missing BM0626 a hell lot! :(

ShoutOut!!

Be working at Jurong Point Atrium

From 2nd Mar to 8th Mar, 10am to 10pm

woo hoo! Its Clearance!

So if you are in the area, do pop by!

enjoy your hols everyone! :)

post-exam fever!

2009-03-01T16:17:00.000+08:00

my favourite chalet shots!! 27022009

from night cycling!

i really wanna thank Ka Gek for riding me! i know i am not that light as i seem! :p
due to some reasons, i didnt stay for the second night, but i know u guys had fun all the same! :)

Candy's 21st Birthday Bash 29022009

Dedicated To Miss Candy Yeow:

You are one of the bravest & sweetest person I have ever met.

I have always admired how you survive all that you faced in your life.

I love your positivity and cheerfulness!

You thought me things that I aint aware of and,

I believe with your attitude, you will go far out in life!

You are an inspiration to all!

happy 5 and 1/4 years old, Candy!! :)

xoxo,

e-lai-nee

the sounds of freedom

2009-03-01T15:32:00.000+08:00

yes!!! i have finally graduated from NYP!

i have waited for so long!
thanks for all my friends for my poly life turns out sound & well! :)

BM0626 - year 2 & 3!

we went thru thick & thin for the projects!!

TEP Cheers!

those were the days! i missed!

BM0612 - year 1!

see how much (or little) we have changed!

the happy class of year 1! the innocence we once hold!